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Raging Hormones and the Voting Booth

CNN’s The Chart removed a post on October 23rd headlining how ‘hormones influence voting choices’. Below is the link if you would like to see the potential story that wasn’t. I wonder the real reason why they decided not to go forward with the story since it could have made for interesting conversation.

http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/10/24/do-hormones-drive-womens-votes/

The post has been removed, but the concept remains. I am reminded of the line by Omar Khayyám,

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.”

My raging hormones and vagina will be in the voting booth on November 6 to help pick the next President. God help us all if I get a hot flash in the middle of electing candidates. I mean what if I get confused and forget where I am and start raging, “How come Bill Clinton isn’t on the ballet, who the hell is Barack Obama, can someone get me a Bundt cake, I need an ice pack, where’s my meds?”

I could become unhinged tear off all my clothes and start barking at the moon. Maybe I should stay home, relax with a nice bowl of butter pecan ice cream between my legs as I watch the male population cast a non-hormonal vote for their choice for President. I mean a woman and her hormones if left unchecked, could really do some damage to the electoral process.

What if a few hours before I cast my vote, Mother Jones unearths a secret video of Mitt Romney talking to Mrs. Romney in a disrespectful mocking manner saying, ‘Hey Biatch, go make me some chicken pot pie’. Would my raging hormones cast a vote for Barack Obama out of irrational antagonistic anger?

What if the old lady at the polling location looks at me wrong and I ask her how the Dinosaurs really died and we get into a shouting match that leads to police intervention and me being removed from the polling place in hand cuffs before I even had a chance to vote. I have just convinced myself it might be a good idea to mail it in next time.

It is completely unpredictable what could happen. But, I am taking my Shatavari and hoping for the best come Election Day. So, all you women out there – ask yourself how your hormonal imbalance may affect your vote and then proceed to the nearest pastry and wine shop.

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