Raging Hormones and the Voting Booth

CNN’s The Chart removed a post on October 23rd headlining how ‘hormones influence voting choices’. Below is the link if you would like to see the potential story that wasn’t. I wonder the real reason why they decided not to go forward with the story since it could have made for interesting conversation.


The post has been removed, but the concept remains. I am reminded of the line by Omar Khayyám,

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.”

My raging hormones and vagina will be in the voting booth on November 6 to help pick the next President. God help us all if I get a hot flash in the middle of electing candidates. I mean what if I get confused and forget where I am and start raging, “How come Bill Clinton isn’t on the ballet, who the hell is Barack Obama, can someone get me a Bundt cake, I need an ice pack, where’s my meds?”

I could become unhinged tear off all my clothes and start barking at the moon. Maybe I should stay home, relax with a nice bowl of butter pecan ice cream between my legs as I watch the male population cast a non-hormonal vote for their choice for President. I mean a woman and her hormones if left unchecked, could really do some damage to the electoral process.

What if a few hours before I cast my vote, Mother Jones unearths a secret video of Mitt Romney talking to Mrs. Romney in a disrespectful mocking manner saying, ‘Hey Biatch, go make me some chicken pot pie’. Would my raging hormones cast a vote for Barack Obama out of irrational antagonistic anger?

What if the old lady at the polling location looks at me wrong and I ask her how the Dinosaurs really died and we get into a shouting match that leads to police intervention and me being removed from the polling place in hand cuffs before I even had a chance to vote. I have just convinced myself it might be a good idea to mail it in next time.

It is completely unpredictable what could happen. But, I am taking my Shatavari and hoping for the best come Election Day. So, all you women out there – ask yourself how your hormonal imbalance may affect your vote and then proceed to the nearest pastry and wine shop.

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